I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
