Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
