we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
