It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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