Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
why is half of my head shaved?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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