In the future we'll all be gay
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
