Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
