she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
