U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
