So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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