Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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