I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
