You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
