It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
