i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
