Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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