She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
