I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
