You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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