I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
