I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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