The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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