yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Farmville is her only friend.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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