I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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