make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
