i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
