There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
