Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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