He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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