how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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