I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize