I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Non-Jews are for practice
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My bed smells like the plague
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
