yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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