i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Quick, to the slutcave!
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
