Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
