I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
