Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
