let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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