i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
