I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
