i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
