So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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