Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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