You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
