Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
