ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
