Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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