I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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