For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
