i barfeds in our rink
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize