it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
