Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
