Screwed.edu
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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