we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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