Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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