so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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