let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
