Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
