I am in a vortex of obligation.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
They took my balls.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
