I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
