I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
the raccoons are back...
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