You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
