which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
