your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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